These needs that each one of us has are going to cover a wide range of things. And some of these will be able to be fulfilled by friends and family, and others will only be able to be met through having an intimate relationship.
Each partner must be willing to be vulnerable. Each must be willing to be honest, personal, and deeply revealing about the affair and what it meant and what pain it caused. Now is the time for full disclosure. If one is going to rebuild the relationship, one cannot do so while maintaining secrets and telling lies and half-truths. It is a time to talk about grievances, shame, fear, sadness, hurt, rage, etc. It is a time for sharing and for listening.
Back to the original intent of this article – to explain the phenomenon of "one night stands at midlife". I don’t know if I’ve explained them, but I’ve at least characterized them via items 1) through 6) above. Really at midlife the "one night stand" equates to a relationship that for whatever reason has an extremely short shelf-life. “Short shelf-life relationship” sounds so much better than “one night stand”, too. ;o)
At the end, one or both girls imitate an orgasm and later go alone to the shower to complete the process. Simple talk solves this issue within minutes.
The other big question people ask is WHY men cheat, versus why women cheat. Do men and women stray for different reasons? The common assumption is that men are ruled by their sex drives and cheat mostly for sexual gratification, while women cheat when they feel emotionally neglected.
The Tantric model is about the experience of exploring all five senses. To that end, the romantic mood can be set by de-cluttering the environment and making it as free from distraction as possible. To awaken the five senses, try playing some stirring music, lighting scented candles, and making the bed very comfortable. Add lots of pillows to the bed, as well as luxurious sheets, so that it is inviting and relaxing.
2.Great respect is mandatory. Respect implies that you are aware of what the other person wants. You are willing to discover what they are capable of and what their sexual limits are. Your lover may have been injured psychologically or emotionally from past relationships. In fact this will almost certainly be the case, almost everyone has had their heart broken at least once. At the extreme, they may have experienced sexual abuse as a child. They may feel insecure about their sexuality. They may suffer from low self-esteem as a lover. They may be quite inexperienced in sexual technique. You must be extremely patient and ever so sensitive to the messages they send out about how fast to proceed, what to do and not do. Talk openly to establish the boundaries of your sexuality. Then experiment to push back the boundaries at a pace you can both find comfortable and safe.